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You can date someone as young as half your age plus seven years? It's no wonder that so many women feel that men their own age are too immature.It's because of this urban legend that has gone around forever.When my boyfriend came back I told him what happened.

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We talked about music, about high school, his experience then and mine now.

I was having breakfast the other day with a friend who was giving dating advice to his son.

My best friend was 14 when she fell in love with a 21 year old. My friend's older boyfriend was close with a guy I'll call T. My mother, spying him from the front window, asked me how old he was."I don't know," I said. After awhile, my friend and her boyfriend disappeared, leaving T. Many memories remain fuzzy, but incidents such as that day in the forest remain in crisp detail. It was late and my parents were asleep as we drove over to the house where T. At some point, my friend left to go somewhere, and for whatever reason I didn't go with him. Maybe he only stepped out to go to the store down the block. This was after the night at his house, though how much later I cannot say. "That's your mom talking."I told him that this wasn't true: it was my choice. He stopped the car with a jerk, right past the top of my driveway, and I grabbed the door handle and got out. For many years afterward, I took total blame for everything that happened between me and T. It was with this in mind that I began my narrator Sydney's story in I'm 44 now, married with a daughter of my own. The teen years loom ahead and I've experienced too much to rest easily. Don't worry about being nice, or hurting someone's feelings: they'll get over it. You don't have to wait, I want to tell her, until you have no choice.

(I know how that sounds: I cringe now just typing it.) But at the time, to us, it wasn't weird or taboo as much as this epic, forbidden romance. Before long we were all hanging out together, driving around in his car: T and me in the front, my friend and her boyfriend in the back. What I do remember is sitting on a couch with T., him putting on a Elton John song and telling me, in words I can't recall specifically, that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I just recall being almost to my house, when I told T. I could see my house now, coming up ahead."We need to discuss this," he said. Like me and Sydney, she will most likely yearn for attention at one point or another. But how can I teach her that it is just as OK to need that scrutiny to stop?

There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. " my friend whispered as we walked back to the car with the guys a few steps ahead. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals.

In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists.eating beets and drinking sad green juices all the time, but rather something much more enjoyable -- dating younger women. And when I say games, I mean things like suddenly ghosting and then texting her “wyd” after three weeks, booty calls at 2 am, you know, shit like that.“In both of my past relationships with older men, I’ve gone into them assuming that there won’t be any games played, and that choosing to date someone who has had the time to make past relationship mistakes will have learned from them."Older guys looking to date younger women should know that just because we’re younger doesn’t mean we’re more willing to put up with B. You also need romance and intellectual passion to keep the spark alive. “Most of the men I've dated have been older,” says Shekinah, 30. Depending on your age I'm looking for a certain level of maturity, someone I can learn from, someone looking to have a long-term relationship, and someone that knows who he is."4. “There’s a reason I prefer older men,” says Kristen, 27. “Don't pressure us to live on your timeline,” 29-year old Johari explains.Apparently, older dudes who date younger ladies live longer and are in better health, which means if you're a single guy who's getting on in years, you might want to consider hooking up with a hot, young, millennial girlfriend. That said, if you want to land younger hottie Ask Men helpfully compiled a list of the 10 commandments of attracting and dating younger women. “It’s not always what you can bring in bed, but keeping us engaged as a woman,” she says. They lose that dating mentality,” says 25-year old Rebecca. “It’s because I don't want to deal with an immature, inexperienced, naive child... “If I'm not ready for something but you were ready years ago, find someone who's there and leave me alone. One of the woes younger women tend to deal with when it comes to dating are men playing games with them. Yeah, sex is awesome, but unless you’re dating a nymphomaniac, you shouldn’t make sex the most important thing in the relationship.Don't try to pressure me into it (marriage, children, etc.)” 6. “The things you admire us for in the beginning can become tiresome to you as we both get older, so please make sure to be honest with yourself about why you are attracted to us, and if it's for who we are -- not how we make you feel.” 7."He acknowledged the elephant in the room by cracking a joke with my dad about a sports championship they were both alive for that I was obviously not, and from there the meeting went much more smoothly.

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